you cried me a river

[FANTASY FAN]

i made this to let everyone know that even though there is so much troubled people in the world, someone out there still cares....

YOU CRIED ME A RIVER
you cried me a river in the cup of life,
it was like a memory of all your strife
like unknown saddness being delivered
but your the one who cried me a river
You cried me a river and made it flow
this cruel world don't care about them u know
they treat you like your lower then the ground
exspectedly laughter goes all around
yet you cried me a river
you looked at me and a smile spread across your face
then u said"what is wrong with this race?
then you cried me a river
now you lay on your death bed
and i wonder in dread.
was i your only friend?have i always listened to u till your end?
once you were gone i went to see what u had saw
all i could c was people disobeying the law
this sight made me shiver
now i know why you cried me a river......

do u like it?:o

[El Wiseguy]

There are some structure issues, spelling errors, and the beats are off.

Buut, it's a good concept and some good metaphor. What I would do with it is refine it over and over until it's perfect to you. This is where you'll start really developing as a writer. Refining your own work and really making yourself better everytime you write.

Good job. :)

[ZeroEverlast]

Not bad. I actually like it more than all of the other poems posted on AnimeTalk.

The "cried me a river" thing is really uncreative though. Plagiarism much?

[FANTASY FAN]

YES!!! thanx!:D

[Kingdom's Sunset]

You don't get it do you? Zero said you plagiarised your poem HE IS NOT CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES SIS!

[El Wiseguy]

He did not say that, Kingdom Sunset. Learn to decipher what you read correctly. He said the idea was unoriginal. Then again, most works today are unoriginal.