Riding Freedom

[KatandMouse]

"Sitting in this room,
Chained against the wall;
Blood around my feet.

Angry,
Hurt,
I want to run.
But I am chained.

My arms are useless,
Hanging from chains above my head.
By body is beaten and weak.
My clothes are only rags.
The blood around my feet is mine;
From the times I have been whipped.

But my spirit will remain free.
I dream that I am a mustang;
That I run wild and free across the planes.

No.
I am riding Freedom itself.

The wind in my hair,
His flesh against my legs as we move as one.
His gallop is soft as his body moves with each stroke of his legs.
He is Freedom.
And I am riding him.

The man is back.
The whip is in his hands.
The beatings begin again,
So I hide in my world,
Riding Freedom...

I ask you:
Will you save me?

Until then all I can do is dream...
Until then I must ride Freedom,
In my mind.

But I swear to you,
When I am free,
I will ride Freedom.
We will be merely a flying speck against the planes,
The wind whipping through my hair;
Through his mane.
And then I will kill those who have caused me this pain.

Save me..."

I had nothing else to do... so I wrote this. Tell me what ya think. :D

[Sanosuke]

Hmmm I like this one a lot. It really expresses your love for horses. ^-^

[Black Ashes]

ha ha! it's the name i gave you!! ^-^

[KatandMouse]

Yup. ^-^ It inspired me. ^-^

[Black Ashes]

it reminds me of a poem i wrote a couple years ago. mine was diffrent though, the hole chained down was the same though...i might write a poem to go against this one though. it's got me thinking.

[KatandMouse]

Thinking is good thing. ^-^

[Black Ashes]

feel the pain as you are wipped,
and learn from it.
the pain is just another thing,
that is between you and riding freedom.
sooner or later,
you will be riding freedom.
think if the feel of the pain,
and use it against him.
he is nothing more,
than a memory now.
you do not need to be saved,
you already are,
with each time you ride freedom,
you save yourself.
ride away into the sunset,
and think of him no more.
the chains are rose vines,
and the pain you feel is just a memory,
you can't get out of your head.
let them go and ride freedom,
out of this hell hole you put yourself in,
and learn from your mistake.

[KatandMouse]

*claps* Yay!!! Pure awesomeness, Black!!! ^-^

[Siziol]

I'll be honest to you animegurl. If whoever that was (too lazy to go back up) hadn't said horses. I would have no idea what this was about. It is discunjunctioned and doesn't even alude to the given topic "horse." There is a point where alluding to something just becomes rambling bullshit.

[Black Ashes]

*bows* i know i know! i'm great! ^-^

[KatandMouse]

-_- You'd get it if you were a horse person, Siziol. It makes perfect sense if you're a horse person.

Yes, you are awesome, Black. ^-^

Edit: Actually, Siziol. Take line that includes word "mustang". I think the problem is you didn't pay close enough attention. Or do you not know what a mustang is?

[Black Ashes]

it's more along the lines that he doesn't care..

[KatandMouse]

:lmao: That too.

[Siziol]

I know exactly what a mustang is.

Your explanation shows how little of writing you actually know.

As a writer, you are not writing to a select few people, you are writing to a crowd. Thinking of oneself as a poet of horses that the general populous will not understand will ensure a continued unsuccessful trial.

They say learn from the past, well this is something people like Shakespeare, Poe, or Chaucer would consider blatantly obvious.

[Black Ashes]

looks like someone read over that a couple times before posting.

[Siziol]

Correct, twice. Then decided to add something after posting with completely justified reason.

[KatandMouse]

Alright. I will keep that in mind, Siziol.

[Black Ashes]

see i was right.