What should I do?

[staticgrave666]

Ok, I've been "seeing" a girl who I thought I was in love with for 4 years (since my last year of high school). Now everything was going fine until one day I caught her cheating on me with my ex-best friend. At first I wanted to kill them both in cold blood, but i calmed down and broke up with her. Now here recently she told me she still loves me and she wants to get back together. I can't trust anymore though right? What should I do A talk?

[Belle_Mort]

Warning: By posting your problem in public you have consciously submitted yourself to the "observant's" (a.k.a. the nosy people's) views and personal opinions. These transmitions are no longer protected under HIPAA regulations of confidentiality. o_o;

May I ask a series of questions before proceding with my views?

1) Can you elaborate on "seeing"? Was it casual or serious?
2) Under what circumstances did the alleged "cheat"? (Did you guys fight? Having a bad day?)
3) Was it only a "one time" fling? Or was the infidelity ongoing?

[staticgrave666]

It was serious we were engaged
I came home early one day (my best ex-friend was my roommate)
As far as I know it was a 1 time thing but isn't one time enough?

[Belle_Mort]

In my own personal opinion, yes, once is enough.
But the question is: How do you truly feel about her now that your trust has been betrayed?
Are you capable of forgiving and forgetting? Or will thoughts of what she did in the past stop you both from moving forward together?

Honestly, I don't think its possible to forget something as deep as that. And if she truly loved you, she wouldn't have hurt you like she did, ne? Of course, there's always two sides to each story, but I am merely basing my views on what you've written. It sounds to me like you still love her deep down. Otherwise you wouldn't be caught in the crossroads. And maybe the same is true for her but I think you should analyze the situation more before giving in to confused emotions.

[Hion]

In my own personal opinion, yes, once is enough.
But the question is: How do you truly feel about her now that your trust has been betrayed?
Are you capable of forgiving and forgetting? Or will thoughts of what she did in the past stop you both from moving forward together?

Honestly, I don't think its possible to forget something as deep as that. And if she truly loved you, she wouldn't have hurt you like she did, ne? Of course, there's always two sides to each story, but I am merely basing my views on what you've written. It sounds to me like you still love her deep down. Otherwise you wouldn't be caught in the crossroads. And maybe the same is true for her but I think you should analyze the situation more before giving in to confused emotions.


I have to agree. It all depends on how you feel about this and her.

[staticgrave666]

I think i'm done with relationships altogether for awhile

[Belle_Mort]

Nee, shouldn't this come off as a lesson learned as opposed to a negative impact on your life?
While taking time away from relationships is a good idea to help sort out your feelings, please try not to close yourself off from those who try to get close to you. (I've seen it happen so many times.)
Or you just might miss an opportunity to find someone you can trust and truly be happy with. Relationships are something you have to work at each and every day. And I'm sure you know that by now. I guess all I'm really saying is: I wish the best for you whatever path you choose. :)

[staticgrave666]

Thanx and i'm not gonna become a Hikikomori

[Belle_Mort]

0_0; Ehh... excuse the ignorance, but umm... >_>;
What exactly is a 'Hikikomori'?
Sounds sort of like a tropical disease >.<;

O_O! GAH! Nevermind!! I know what it is... T_T
Nuuuuu!!
I won't let you become one dammit!!
*clings onto Static* >.<;

[staticgrave666]

lol ok..... and on that note

[Belle_Mort]

Hai? *still clinging on to his shirt*

[staticgrave666]

Belle_Mort you sound like you have some insight tell me have you ever been in a similar situation?

[Belle_Mort]

To be honest, I have, though my relationship wasn't as serious. We were just 'dating'. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

[staticgrave666]

I'm glad someone can understand where I'm from its ok for the woman to cheat as long as there not married so most of my friends laughed and told me to stop being a pussy and get over it

[Belle_Mort]

Of all the lousy, no-good... #&$)#&$#@*
I bet they wouldn't be laughing if they were on the receiving end. I would have stabbed their eyes out with my chopsticks >D
But I'm a pretty morbid character :D
Unfortunately, that's how our society thinks nowadays. It's 'unacceptable' for a male to show emotion and hurt. TO HELL WITH ALL THAT!
We're human beings dammit. We have a right to feel the way we do.
So don't let them get under your skin like that!
And what kind of bullshit is that anyways?! Cheating is cheating no matter what you are. Grrr...
(Sorry... got a bit riled up there >:O )

[staticgrave666]

Thank you, I truly feel a lot better now

[Belle_Mort]

I'm glad ^^
That just made my morning.
And how the hell did you go from 'Lurker' to 'Anime Apprentice'?!
I'm jealous. -_-

[staticgrave666]

whoa you're right lol I don't know? But im gonna tell that bitch to go to hell I'm gonna find a girl with half a brain in her f*ckin head

[Belle_Mort]

Why not the whole brain instead? o.O?
But... You tell her! If that's what you've decided.
I'd offer to do something evil... but karma's a bitch -_-;

[staticgrave666]

lol *realizes you're still cling to my shirt* I guess you're right she'll get hers im sure

[Belle_Mort]

*Lets go of his shirt with an embarrased laugh* Ehh... gomen ne! o.o;
Guess I took it too far, thinking you were gonna evolve or something. :lmao:

[staticgrave666]

lol *smiles* I didn't mind, its 5AM here lol

[Belle_Mort]

East coast eh?
Damn... It's only 2AM here in CA.
No work or school for you tomorrow?

[staticgrave666]

I'm nocturnal I work and go to school at night

[Belle_Mort]

*Mumble mumble*
Damn, I must be getting old =_=
I can't stay up like I used to, though my insomnia is still active and kicking. Hooray.
How ironic... work is driving me crazy:
Yet I work at a mental health clinic. @_@
Haha! I'm off to bed before I start to blabber like an idiot about random, unexciting things.
Oyasumi nasai! Nice talking to ya. *bows*

[staticgrave666]

It was nice talking to you good night.

[El Wiseguy]

My recommendation: If it's happened once it can happen again. The only way I'd consider it is if we didn't go straight into a relationship again and became friends and really saw how things were going from there.

If they could abstain from any relationship (even with me) for a time and show they're not acting on temptation or even putting themselves into tempting situations then I'd consider it more fully.

[ZeroEverlast]

Do what you want and what you feel like.

By asking for advice, you're trying to rationalize the situation, but relationships don't work that way.

Go with your emotions. Do you want her back? If so, then fine, take her back.
Yeah, you risk further infidelity, but if you really like her, you're likely to overlook that.

If not, well, it won't be a big surprise for anyone.

[z311y]

If she did it once, she could do it again. Also, if she was with your best friend, I'd question that relationship as well.

[KatandMouse]

If she did it once, she could do it again. Also, if she was with your best friend, I'd question that relationship as well.

To Zell: OMFG!!! Zell, did you take smart pills tonight or something...? Or did I??? Cause everything you're saying tonight makes perfect sense...

To Static: Definitely what she said.

[z311y]

Maybe I'm always this way... I just don't show it... Mwahahaha!!! . . . Never mind. . .

[KatandMouse]

Yeah... right... :lmao:

[z311y]

*lookshurt*








Just kidding ; ]

[staticgrave666]

I swear z311y you and sis are the queens of getting of topic

[KatandMouse]

:lmao: We are, Static. I know... I'm sorry I'm messing up your topic... ^-^

[staticgrave666]

no I didn't mean it like that I'm just making sure its not my imagination is all

[KatandMouse]

:lmao: Definitely NOT your imagination. ^-^ Actually... if you think Zell and I are bad... you should see what Black and I can do to a thread... :lmao: One time we went on for pages about absolutely nothing, pretty much... :lmao: That was fuuuuuun..... :lmao:

[Kanadian Beast]

Don't take her back. If she really loved you then she would have not cheated on you. She will get was she deserves and you will get a woman who will properly treat you with respect.

[Anime_Demoness]

what i'm wondering is ...what are the chances that the one time they cheated on you...you would catch them??

[El Wiseguy]

What are the chances that if they've cheated many other times?

[staticgrave666]

What are the chances that if they've cheated many other times?

Exactly, I'm relatively sure that wasn't the first time

[Siziol]

It never is.

[z311y]

I repeat my statement, if it happened once it could happen again... Ok?

[The DBZ Fan Boy]

Well maybe she was looking for something a little more, something. Ask her what she wants/needs. Maybe she might just want to move on.