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El Wiseguy
03-09-2007, 10:17 AM
I haven't proof-read this or even read over it since completing it. In fact, it's really late and I'm so tired I just wanted to finish it.

But anyway, there's a lot going on in my life right now and I was feelin' a bit on the sappy side tonight so I wrote this to get some of those feelings out in a more constructive way. So, enjoy.

I will revise it and proof-read it (not in that order :P) when I'm more away, but for now here you go:







---I'm falling---


The discomfort is here.

A giant hammer strikes against
my bleak and dark disposition.
Winds swoosh about my ears
as I fall in the night.
Right before I hit the frigid,
unyielding ground, the night sky
opens before me and I see it...

I see a hand reaching for mine.
Even though when I stretched
my hand towards the saving grace,
I missed; I missed by a mile.
I began to panic as if it were over.

As a mighty tree falls in the forest,
with night ecompassing all things,
the leaves bristle in the wind as
the inevitable force gracefully yet violently
encourages its decent to the ground below.

I am this tree for now. The mercy
has passed me by in my haste...
My urgency to end my suffering.
To strike the stark reality of my
oncoming and destined demise.

Here it comes now, I cannot see it,
but I can feel the ground pursuing
me with all speed, trying to
end all that I've worked for and
invite me to close this chapter of time.

My eyes close and I give in.
The mist from my already wavering
thoughts stream from me, leaving a
trail of emotion in the wake of
my decision... knowing my surrender.

Finally, it's here. I expect a harsh
meeting with that which will undo me.
My fists clinched, my eyes shut,
my mind open, and my fate inevitable;
I climactically smash into what I didn't expect.

Lying on a bed of soft down, pillows,
and what seems to be joy, I open my eyes.
So... what happened? Why am I ok? Not only
ok, but why I am happy?!? Why is it that
It's not over and all things perished?

Getting up I now see the night sky
so much more clearly than I had ever before.
I saw the grass below me as delicate and
soft as it had felt while I was laying on it.
So... this is what it means to grow up?

The hand that reached for mine was now
over my shoulder, showing me its owner.
"I knew it was you." I said with a smile.
"Yeah, you just needed to trust me." Came
the expected reply. "yeah... I know..."

We both walked away from the situation
stronger in bond than before. More
than I knew or thought, that hand showed
me that I could make it on my own and
yet be saved by grace even when I miss the mark.


--Brian

12:53 AM 3/9/2007

noless88
03-09-2007, 06:17 PM
i like it, it speaks the truth when you are weak and nobody understands you. You will always have someone to help you, or talk to.

Pekopon
03-09-2007, 11:05 PM
I like it too...If only I could do that...

AnimeYahtzee3
03-10-2007, 03:04 AM
I like it!!!

El Wiseguy
03-12-2007, 09:12 AM
Thanks. :) I think this is some of my better work. It's not a usual poem though... I'm still trying to decide how I like it. lol

Sanosuke
03-12-2007, 08:54 PM
Nice Wiseguy. ^-^ Very nice.

pokeypillow
03-12-2007, 11:19 PM
i love it.... ^-^
the poem is wonderful

staticgrave666
03-17-2007, 12:24 AM
Wow, I'm impressed I didn't know you could write like that Wise

El Wiseguy
06-25-2007, 08:16 AM
Wow, I'm impressed I didn't know you could write like that Wise

Now you do. :P lol

rukia96
06-25-2007, 08:30 AM
hmm........not as strong as your other poems but i still think it was very good. my fav of yours so far is cold, and In Front of Me - Poem. Keep it up :D

sarcaustic
06-25-2007, 05:41 PM
Be more sappy. ;) I liked how you described how unexpectedly people can be there for us. Well anyway great job.