I'm slowly turning into a killer

[Rae Sage]

I can't take it any more. For the past 10 years of my life has been hell. All my grandma does is yell at me... today while i was setting the table for breakfast i asked her if she wanted a dinner plate or a platter to put the biscuts in.

she just strated to yell at me and still is. I have been disnosed with haveing at least one split personailty and grandma doesn't belive it... and she almost took over to show she was real.

I pulled out the sliver ware drawer and was getting the forks... but i didn't feel the forks in my hand... i felt the handle of the largest kitchen knife in our house.

i ran out to get away and get a grip of my slef... i'm not eating with them i'm eating in my room trying to get a grip... but she keeps yelling...

I'm afraid i may snap. i can't take this any more... if i snap in the kitchen there are so many knives i can choose from...

if this keeps up i may kill myself before i kill another.

[Anastashia Sage]

Sis, iam so sorry, but you know how it is.. I with you could live with me. But legal system says otherwords. Sis, please dont kill her or yourself. Think of Ryan and me and Lee. Please. I cant have another death this month and deafinatly not you. you have to control her and ignore Grandma. If you died there wouldnt be anything controling me from hurting many people. please dont do it.

[El Wiseguy]

I'll be praying for you.

You really need to find someone for some counseling. Even if you don't believe me it may be one of the only ways to beat this. Plus, you may just need to change your living situation. If you tell someone these feelings that has control of it, you may be able to get into a better situation.

You can have self-control if you just practice it and have discipline.

[Shape]

You just described the character "Jessica" in Heroes, down to the T. Hmm.

Does your split personality have better grammar and spelling?

[animegoddess143]

When your Grandma yells at you, try to think very, seriously happy thoughts. Think of all your friends here. We need you Rae. Don't hurt yourself or others. Plus if you do actually kill your Grandma, than you'll be serving a life sentence in prison or worse. You don't want guilt and to be in nasty Prison. I will pray for you.

[Rae Sage]

Sis, iam so sorry, but you know how it is.. I with you could live with me. But legal system says otherwords. Sis, please dont kill her or yourself. Think of Ryan and me and Lee. Please. I cant have another death this month and deafinatly not you. you have to control her and ignore Grandma. If you died there wouldnt be anything controling me from hurting many people. please dont do it.
Thats what is keeping me from letting her have control. I fought her all night and half the day.
I'll be praying for you.

You really need to find someone for some counseling. Even if you don't believe me it may be one of the only ways to beat this. Plus, you may just need to change your living situation. If you tell someone these feelings that has control of it, you may be able to get into a better situation.

You can have self-control if you just practice it and have discipline.
yes i know... i have been fighting with her most of my life. I'm currently on meds to get rid of her but i'm lieing and saying that meds are working because the medicane fucks with my heart and joints and i don't want a heart attack or arthritus which is common in my family this early.

and yes please pray for me. i really would apprecate it. *weakly smiles*
You just described the character "Jessica" in Heroes, down to the T. Hmm.

Does your split personality have better grammar and spelling?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/isis_a_triger/me/P1220017.jpg
^thats from both of us^

and i'm not makeing this up. hell i don't even know what that show is. Oh and a message from sekhmet.
Sekhmet: Why the hell did I miss your ancestors when father let me cleanes the Earth. I swear. You think you killed all the smart asses and more appear. Oh and i'm still getting used to English and this stupid girl is learning Spanish. So quit being a smart ass.

When your Grandma yells at you, try to think very, seriously happy thoughts. Think of all your friends here. We need you Rae. Don't hurt yourself or others. Plus if you do actually kill your Grandma, than you'll be serving a life sentence in prison or worse. You don't want guilt and to be in nasty Prison. I will pray for you.
and to you. thank you for playing for me.

[Anastashia Sage]

I think someone needs to get laid not, you rae and you know who iam talking about.

[bedsoraroxas]

I feel sorry for more than one reason.

1st: Your situation sounds terrible and I understand what its like to go through stuff like that. I'll keep you in my prayers too, just to let you know.

2nd: [Trying my best not to sound like a complete bitch, but] It seems as if you are almost craving attention and its working. Sure, it may be frustrating and all, but there are people out there with worse lives; not necessarely [sp?] me, not your average joe, but those who have tourtured pasts. People who have been raped, almost murdered, beaten badly by parents/enemies, etc.

I'm not attempting to put you down in any way, shape, or form, but possibly giving you some idea of how bad it could be. I've had problems like this before but its not killing others. . .I found a way out by distracting my wants and my fears. It depends on the person what will work, but just keep strong.

Lots of love and hope.

[Rae Sage]

I feel sorry for more than one reason.

1st: Your situation sounds terrible and I understand what its like to go through stuff like that. I'll keep you in my prayers too, just to let you know.

2nd: [Trying my best not to sound like a complete bitch, but] It seems as if you are almost craving attention and its working. Sure, it may be frustrating and all, but there are people out there with worse lives; not necessarely [sp?] me, not your average joe, but those who have tourtured pasts. People who have been raped, almost murdered, beaten badly by parents/enemies, etc.

I'm not attempting to put you down in any way, shape, or form, but possibly giving you some idea of how bad it could be. I've had problems like this before but its not killing others. . .I found a way out by distracting my wants and my fears. It depends on the person what will work, but just keep strong.

Lots of love and hope.

for the record.
1. i was frickin' scared when i typed that up and wasn't thinking.
2. i'm not saying that i have the worst life.
3. well some of the doors in my life wont be opened.
4. i've almost was put in the loney been and i'm seaking guaidance to help keep me out.
5. not saying that you were trying to say i was being a self centerd bitch or something like that
6. thank you for the love and hope
7. just wanted everyone to really know why i did this

[bedsoraroxas]

I def. respect you for doing this. You have great courage to seek help and talk to friends about this subject. I, on the other hand, am not too open about anything in my life and tend to be a rather concealed person who is too busy worring about my problems than others. In short, I am a coward.

[El Wiseguy]

Well, I know someone that had a very very similar problem. He ended up in a place where people go with "anger issues" and split-personality disorders. But, he ended up getting better once he realized that he could be disciplined and get past anything he put his mind to. He's now again one of my best friends and is as "normal" as he can be.

[Anastashia Sage]

I def. respect you for doing this. You have great courage to seek help and talk to friends about this subject. I, on the other hand, am not too open about anything in my life and tend to be a rather concealed person who is too busy worring about my problems than others. In short, I am a coward.
venting is good, i tend to be the same way as you.
Well, I know someone that had a very very similar problem. He ended up in a place where people go with "anger issues" and split-personality disorders. But, he ended up getting better once he realized that he could be disciplined and get past anything he put his mind to. He's now again one of my best friends and is as "normal" as he can be.
where is this location that he went to.. cuz i need to pay a visit there and get help.

[Rae Sage]

*sighs* saidly... i don't think i can ever be normal... i was always seen as weird by everyone. I will never beable to fit in teh catagory of normal.

[Anastashia Sage]

what exactly is normal? and does it really exist?

[El Wiseguy]

I don't think there is "normal". That's ok. But there is self-disciplined and how YOU want to be as long as you try your best and work at it even if it seems impossible.

[Rae Sage]

lets just say since midnight me and my split has been having a battle royal in meh head. so far i'm winning
does that count as disciplin?

[Anastashia Sage]

Rae.. thik aobut this atleast you dont have more than 2

[bedsoraroxas]

*sighs* saidly... i don't think i can ever be normal... i was always seen as weird by everyone. I will never beable to fit in teh catagory of normal.

I believe that normal is a derogatory word in this case. You are who you are and people will accept you for that. You are special and nobody can change you; they can change your actions. . .but you will always be Rae Sage. I hope this helped. . .if it even makes sense. . . :o

[Anastashia Sage]

it makes sense.... but... i dont know....

[Rae Sage]

*giggles* well i got what you ment. thank you everyone... i'm turning in for the night. ttyl peoples.

[bedsoraroxas]

G'night, mate! [I just can't help myself from saying that everytime i say goodnight to anybody. . .it just comes out!]

[Anastashia Sage]

Night Sis Wuv you......... now what...

[Rae Sage]

G'night, mate! [I just can't help myself from saying that everytime i say goodnight to anybody. . .it just comes out!]

i can't stop myself for saying "nighty night" so i know how it fells.

ph i wuv you too sis.

[bedsoraroxas]

haha thats so cute. finally, somebody understands!!

[Rae Sage]

yup... Most of the time i understand other people more than i do my self.

[bedsoraroxas]

oh. . .than you do. me too!

for a sec, i thought you said that you understood people better than you tan yourself. HAHHAHA you can MAJICALLY [yes, majically] tan yourself!!!! hooray!!

[Blueberry Doom]

You suffer from Split Personalities too? I know how you feel, I have a split personality. If you need help just PM me, I can help Rae. :)

[ZeroEverlast]

All this talk about split-personalities sounds like a desperate plea for attention to me.


Oh, and also, I lol'd at this:
Does your split personality have better grammar and spelling?

[Shape]

So are you a killer yet!!?!?

[chaos]

a killer. cant picture dat

[Rae Sage]

*looks at shape shifter and zero* do you have a heart?

[seig]

like the pic you rebel

[Shape]

*looks at shape shifter and zero* do you have a heart?

well... if i didn't i would be dead. so i'll go out on a limb and say yes, i do have a heart.

[Blueberry Doom]

I think she meant emotionally ShapeShifter. :P

[ZeroEverlast]

Nooooooo really?!?!?!?! Thanks for clarifying that, Blueberry!!!


As for you, Rae Sage, what does having a heart have anything to do with this? I'd be compassionate if I believed you, but, er, I think I made it clear that I don't.

Also, who the fuck is Sekhmet? Your alter ego?

[Shape]

my question was perfectly legitimate. The title of this thread is "I'm slowly turning into a killer"....Soooooo I was curious if she had made her first kill yet. DUH.


and FYI, I do have a heart. and it's bigger than the Grinch's when it grew 10 times the normal size!!!

[Rae Sage]

well when i made this i was scared of killing know i want to. but i guess i shall never post anything else.

[Devil Rinnah]

WELL IF YOU BOTH HAVE A FUCKING HEART DON'T SAY THNGS THAT YOU CAN'T BACK UP, YOU ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH, YOU ALL DON'T READ YOUR HISTORY ON EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY, SO DON'T JUDGE SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR CONDITIONS

[Shape]

WELL IF YOU BOTH HAVE A FUCKING HEART DON'T SAY THNGS THAT YOU CAN'T BACK UP, YOU ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH, YOU ALL DON'T READ YOUR HISTORY ON EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY, SO DON'T JUDGE SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR CONDITIONS
stfi

[Devil Rinnah]

stfi
WHAT DID I HIT A NERVE?

[Rae Sage]

i think stfi is shut the fuck up idiot... but i'm not sure. not up to date on that stuff.

[Shape]

WHAT DID I HIT A NERVE?
no you're just annoying. :)

[Devil Rinnah]

i think stfi is shut the fuck up idiot... but i'm not sure. not up to date on that stuff.SHE DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ELSE BUT THAT, SO I GUESS I DID HIT A NERVE AND I AM RIGHT, THEY CAN'T JUDGE WHAT IS SOMEONE'S CONDITION, BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW THAT PERSON, IF THEY HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH HELL THOUGHOUT THEIR LIFE, THEY SHOULD NOT SAY ANYTHING, IF THEY DID GO THROUGH HELL THROUGHOUT THEIR LIFE AND DO HAVE AN PERSONALITY DISORDER THEN THEY WILL AGREE ABOUT YOUR CONDITION.

[Shape]

just give up...

[Rae Sage]

why don't you just shut yo mouth.

[Devil Rinnah]

WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE THIS THREAD AND DON'T SAY ANYTING, IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING THEN: THEN NOD YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND FIND ANOTHER TREAD TO GO TO!!!!!

[Shape]

haha you're funneh.

[Devil Rinnah]

haha you're funneh.NO I'M NOT, I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.

[Shape]

NO I'M NOT, I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.


LOLOKHAHA@!@!1<

[Devil Rinnah]

LOLOKHAHA@!@!1<
DUMB ASS

[Shape]

DUMBASS

*fixed*

[Rae Sage]

would it kill you to quit being a dick head.

[Mikhile]

Rinnah: Stop posting in caps.